My husband and I went to the early release of the movie “Monumental – In search of America’s national treasure” (which I highly recommend everyone see… and take the kids!).  Here is a link to the trailer… http://www.monumentalmovie.com

I consider myself to be an early American history buff, in particular Pilgrims, American Revolution and the Civil War.  I do a lot of genealogy research and had ancestors involved in all of these time periods.  So I KNEW I had to see this movie!

My family has been to Plymouth, MA. and done the “tour”.  Interestingly enough, the tour did NOT include the founder’s monument which is the topic of great discussion in the movie.  According to the movie, it is the largest solid granite monument in the country.  It is beautiful and FULL of inspiration.  I can’t believe it wasn’t included in our tour.  Although, it is apparently away from the reenactment village and the Mayflower2, in a residential area so maybe the people who live around it don’t want hordes of people parading through their neighborhood.  I will be doing more research on this monument!

The other thing I learned is that our early Congress actually commissioned the printing of Bibles and had them placed in every school across the country.  Can you imagine THAT?  The government made sure that every school had a Bible.  Bibles were in our schools until 1963 when they were no longer allowed in public schools.  I did not know that.  Probably because I didn’t start attending school until 1965, so there was never a Bible in a public school I attended.  Interesting, don’t you think?

While I went into the movie with interest, I came out with knowledge.  I would bet that even the biggest history buffs among us will learn something from seeing this movie.  At the end of it was a call to action, to start a movement to bring America back to its roots, to find the values and morals it seems many people are lacking these days.  To this I say “HOOAH!”  Let’s make America the great nation we all know it can be.  Bring it on!

Find out where the movie is being shown in your area and plan to take the family this weekend.  Enjoy!

Often times when I speak with people, whether in a business, social, or personal relationship, it seems that much of their trouble is around priorities.  Many people are trying to do too many things.  Others are frustrated with the way their life has taken over their happiness and sort of sucked it up and out of their life.

Let’s talk about a few things that you could have conflict over.  Somebody has to work (unless you are independently wealthy) – for the sack of this blog, let’s say it’s you.  Okay so we have work, family time, personal (alone) time, chores, fun.  Under chores you could have cleaning, yard work, homework (if you are a student), bill paying.  Under fun the possibilities are endless.  I’ll just throw out volunteering, playing sports, going dancing, out to eat, movies, etc.

In reality, there are only 24 hours in a day and you should be sleeping for at least six of them (up to nine).  We’ll use that old standby of eight hours sleep.  That leaves you 16 hours to do things.  Oh yeah, I didn’t add time for grooming, you know we all need to shower and some people take waay longer than others to get ready for the day.  That could take anywhere from 15 minutes to two hours, depending on your personality – grin.

We now have 15 hours left in our day.  Take out work.  I know many people who typically work ten hours, some more and some less. Even though I think ten is really more the “norm” these days, I’ll stick with the average eight hour day.  Let’s throw in an hour of travel time to & from work as well.

Six hours left, approximately.  Now you have some decisions to make.  If you are single it may be a bit easier for you to prioritize.  Although, you certainly could easily over commit because you have so many different things you like to do.  For those of you with families, your family wants to spend time with you.  Moms, you are probably busy with chores and getting dinner, maybe supervising homework.  Dads, you may just be plum tuckered out, or maybe you’ve brought work home, or you’re in a hurry to get out the door with your child to coach their sports team.  We all seem to find ways to fill our time and stay busy.

I will say this about children… they need your time.  Studies show that even as little as 15 minutes a week of dedicated time to your child, doing what your child wants to do, can go a long way towards keeping that child from being a “troubled” child.  If your child wants to play video games and you make them go out and play toss & catch during the 15 minutes you are spending with them, that is not “their” time.  If they want to kick a soccer ball & you insist on baking cookies – sorry that doesn’t count.  At least 15 minutes a week of dedicated time with your child.  If you have more than one child, that’s 15 minutes with each child.  Thirty minutes is even better.  Many studies have also shown that the majority of homes with a “troubled” child tend to have an absent father.  That doesn’t necessarily mean divorce or separation, you can live in the same house and be an absent father.  Do you leave before they are up, get home after they go to bed, have no interaction (or very little) with your children?  Dad, you are an absent father.  Gentlemen, be there for your kids.  If you are divorced, make sure you are seeing your children.  They need a father figure in their life.  Okay, I’ll get down off my soapbox now, sorry I got a little carried away.

Back to priorities.  What are we down to?  Six?  Yes, approximately six hours left in your day with some things that really need to get done.  If you are looking at your day and wondering how you will ever get it all completed, or stressing out running here and there, it may be time to re-evaluate.  Remember there are only so many hours in a day and you may not be able to do it all.  You may want to make a list of the things you have to do and decide which ones are the most important to you.  Go ahead and number them.  Then figure out how much time it takes to accomplish each one.  How many hours?  Over six?  Something’s gotta go.  Logically, it would be the bottom item on your list.  Oh, but you just can’t eliminate THAT!  Ah, well then you don’t have the priorities in the right order.  Look at them again, knowing that something has to go.  Reorder them so that the item you CAN give up is on the bottom.  Look at little more doable now?  Okay, there ya go.  You have set your priorities – grin.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Ok, so I must admit, I’m weird (grin).  If I get one of those one-sided headaches and my husband pushes in a certain spot around my shoulder blade – I feel it in my teeth.  Go ahead, laugh – I know it’s strange.  I did some yard work yesterday and when stretching my legs this morning discovered that the outer side of my heel is connected to my inner thigh.  Well, maybe not, but it sure felt like it – chuckle.

Now I am not advocating for chiropractors, some people like ‘em and some don’t.  But they do make an interesting argument about all of your nerves being connecting to the different vertebrae of your spine.  Maybe you are familiar with aroma therapy.  I used to be big into this, and did find that some of the concoctions I mixed up proved to be helpful.  I got away from it though, not sure why.  Guess I just lost interest (or found more important things to do with my time).  How about reflexology?  Ever heard of it?  No, I’m not advocating that either.  {Just for the record – I’m just sharing my thoughts, and knowledge, I am not saying you should go do any of these things – right?} 

I dabbled in reflexology a bit.  I never found it to work for me because – well, it’s sort of like rubbing your own sore muscle, you can’t really enjoy it/relax if you are tensing other muscles to rub the sore ones.  I did use it on my younger son a few times and it helped him with relaxing and de-stressing .  The theory with reflexology is that you have connecting points in your feet (and hands too) and if you rub your feet in the proper spot, it will help various parts of your body.  For those of you who get pedicures, maybe you can attest to this.  I have never had a pedicure – I don’t think I would like a stranger touching my feet.    I suppose this is the premise behind acupuncture and acupressure as well.  Just for kicks & giggles, I’ll scan a sock I own and include the picture so you can see how it might work.  I would suggest, if you find this to be something you may want to try, that you do some research on it first.  You don’t want to be messing around with stuff you don’t fully understand.

AHA!  So, you can see, your toe bone really IS connected to your head bone – teehee

Have a wonderful weekend!

 
Catchy title, huh?  Before you criticize me, please notice there’s just ONE “t” – grin.

I like to think I am a fairly positive, upbeat person (except before I’ve had my morning coffee – word of caution there).  I even had a friend ask me, “How do you do it?  Stay so positive?”  My response: “Practice – grin.”

It’s funny, the week I was having, I thought I’d like to just quit (insert two or three things).  It’s just too hard.  Then I thought better of it and completed the task I had set out to do.  It did get me thinking, though, about how I could have “but-ed” myself into giving up.  So, I actually wrote the title of this blog down on Wednesday.  Then Thursday, while perusing some good quotes I’ve come across to post on the NewDirection Life Coaching  Face Book page, I chose, "Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein." ~ H. Jackson Brown”.  Later, I realized that quote fits perfectly into the “but” blog.  Funny how the theme just seemed to flow throughout the week.

How often have you set out to do something only to find it too difficult, or maybe an inconvenience, or totally boring, insert any cop-out you’d like.  How about some of these…

• I tried to quit smoking, but it was too hard.
• I wanted to sign up for that class, but I forgot
• I’d love to go to the park with the kids, but I just don’t have time.
• I was gonna help with the yard work, but so&so called & asked me to go shoot some hoops (or go to the mall).
• I thought about volunteering, but I have no idea who to contact.

There’s a picture floating around facebook that I absolutely love…
                                                                                                     … it’s so true, isn’t it?

If you don’t want to do something (now I’m not talking about have to’s here) – don’t do it.  Of course, not jumping into something without first considering all options is probably one good way to skip starting something you don’t want to finish.  Projects pop to mind here.  How many of you started a project that you have yet to finish?  I see you nodding your heads – grin. 

Once you’ve made the commitment to do something – follow through, finish up and finish strong.  Well, at least finish up.

Of course there are two points of view on any topic.  Let’s briefly discuss when you have a good “but” (ONE “t”, people – one “t”). 

• You’ve been drinking and are ready to drive home, but you take a cab.
• You are dawg tired and want to sit and watch TV, but you play a game with your kids.
• Meeting new people is not your thing but, you take a meal to a new neighbor.
• It’s been a rotten day and you are mad at the world, but you smile at people walking by.

I suppose your “but” doesn’t have to keep you from doing things, it could help you to do things.  That brings us back to another good quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: 'Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.'  Another true statement, don’t you think?

Put your “but” to good use & have a great weekend.

Unfortunately, we currently own two homes.  Makes us sound like snobs?  Actually, more like slobs – poor slobs having to maintain two homes. Sigh.

I was recently at our house that is for sale and man does it need some yard work done.  The deer (or at least I think its deer) have figured out that no one is there anymore.  We have two apples trees that have a metal fence around them to keep the deer from stripping the trees.  The fences are literally mangled together from under & above – and the trees are bare, no leaves.  They’ve gotten to four other trees as well.  No clue if the trees will survive the attacks on their foliage.  I spent some time taking down dead plant debris so the new growth can come up.  Leaves need raking, and pretty soon we’ll need to start mowing.  So, we have two options.  Pay somebody to do the work, or plan to travel up and do it ourselves, thereby taking away time we would be spending with the grandkids on a visit up there.  Of course, another option is to do nothing and let the outside of the house go wild – which I don’t really consider an option.  We are trying to sell it and it wouldn’t present well, but even so – some of you have probably lived near people who don’t take care of their yards.  That’s no fun is it?  You never know when a critter may come from their yard to yours, their weed seeds are probably germinating in your yard and ruining it, and it lowers your property value to have a crazy yard next door.

We have a yard at this house that needs to be maintained too.  I just spent an hour outside picking up pine cones.  I ended up using a long sticked garden fork – those little buggers are SHARP!  I love being outside in nice weather.  I would much rather be busy than just “laying out.”  It makes the time go faster.  Even better… I’d rather be playing tennis instead of picking up pine cones. BUT – it has to be done.  Weeding, mowing, picking up sticks and pinecones, etc.  As a responsible home owner – it has to be done.

The same goes for inside the house.  Whether you own it or rent it, it has to be maintained.  If you rent it and there is a problem you need to call the owner.  If you own it and there is a problem, you need to fix it – it won’t go away by itself, and will most likely get worse.  You devalue your home by ignoring home maintenance.  Keeping your house clean is part of it, too.  There are a few people who enjoy cleaning.  I’m not one of them.  When my kids lived here, they had chores.  We all had our chores.  I can remember one of my boys saying “I don’t want to clean the bathroom” and (ok, I was not in a good mood) I started hoping up and down with my arm up in the air saying , “Oo! Oo! Me, pick me I want to clean the bathroom!”  I think he got the point.  Nobody wants to clean the bathroom, but it has to get done.

The more I think about it, this applies to a lot of things – your clothes, your car, your pets, your kids!  I’m sure I don’t have to go into examples for each of these, you understand what I’m trying to say – right?

Long story short – Take responsibility for your things!

Okay, who wants to come over and rake up pine needles with me?  Grin.

Have a great weekend!

When recently asked this question, I had to remember… I am a “coach” not a counselor and it is not my job, or even my place, to tell people what to do.  This is a very tricky question and has so many variables that I can’t really answer that question for anyone, other than myself.  *Side note – no honey, I’m NOT asking that question… you are stuck with me for always <3 *

So when asked that question, the best I can do is to offer some questions that a person might want to consider in making their choice.  Most of these are geared towards a couples’ relationship.  I would think that if you are struggling with a friendship relationship some of these could apply as well.

Are you happy in your current relationship?  Why or why not?

{For ease of repetition CR = Current Relationship}

Do you want to stay in your CR?  Why or why not?

How does your significant other feel about the relationship?

What future does your significant other see for the relationship?

What has caused you to consider ending the relationship?

Who else might be influencing your decisions?

If there is someone else, what makes that person a better option for you?

Are you considering a new person on a whim, or have you really thought this out?

What do you believe your future will be with someone else?

What future do you see if you stay in the CR?

You certainly don’t want to leave your CR for another and find it was a mistake.  You also don’t want to stay in a CR where you are miserable.  In truth, you don’t want to miss your chance at true happiness – whichever choice you make.  My husband often recommends Dr. Henry Cloud’s book “Necessary Endings”, which leans towards the business world, but has some insight that can be applied to personal relationships as well.

The ultimate choice is yours.  No one can make someone else stay in a relationship.  I suppose they can make you leave one, but I would think if they have forced you out, you need to wake up and smell the coffee.  Count your blessing because if you are not wanted in that relationship, you really shouldn’t stay anyway.  Look at the opportunities that you now face – grin.

My suggestion to this question is to not make any rash decisions.  Ponder your actions, think it through, thoroughly, and consider seeking wise counsel from someone not emotionally attached to the relationship.  Remember, you have the option to change your mind, but if you have left a relationship and thereby broken trust, you may not be welcomed back with open arms.

Be happy, my friends.

Day By Day

Anyone remember the movie Godspell, or am I just dating myself?  Grin.  There was a song titled Day By Day.  It crossed my mind when I was titling this weeks blog.

So, a friend/co-worker of some friends of mine passed away last night.  They were in a car accident a week ago and it appeared that things were improving, and then – not – and they were gone.  It reminds me just how precious, and unpredictable life is.

This got me thinking about my grandchildren.  I know, everything makes me think of my grandchildren – let’s face it – I miss them.  Video calls are definitely nice, but nothing compares to those little arms hugging your neck, sigh.  Ah, but I digress.

The last time my three year old granddaughter stayed the night with me, back in December, I was amazed at how chipper, happy and just plain amazed she was that morning had arrived.  Unfortunately for me, it was about 6:30AM – chuckle.  Picture this – with sound… A wee little blondie sitting straight up from her slumber and in a high pitched, sing-song little voice announces, “Bumpy!... that’s what she calls me… “Bumpy!  It’s morning!”  I rolled over and sort of, huh’d her.  Still in a sweet angelic voice, “It’s morning, can we get up now?”  To which I told her it was kinda early and maybe she could lay back down and rest for a bit.  “But Bumpy… it’s MORNING.”  Ok, you can’t argue with that logic, so… we got up. I headed straight for the coffee and she proceeded to run around the house just so happy to greet the day.  My goodness, if I could bottle that energy, I’d be rich.

When was the last time you woke up and were excited that it was morning?  Maybe the last time you were on vacation.  I would venture to guess that most people, begrudgingly, wake up to an alarm clock – at least during the week.  What about on the weekends, when many of us get to “sleep in”?  Do you wake up excited that it’s morning?  I’m guessing probably not.  Even when we wake up on our own, I bet many of us are thinking, “Sigh, ookaay, I guess I’ll get up.”  Does this sound like anyone you know?  I know I’m guilty of this. 

I will admit – I am not a morning person.  I will never forget one time my folks were visiting and I dragged myself out of bed and crawled (not literally) to the coffee pot.  My dad was already up, having his coffee (yes, he’s one of those peppy morning people) and he said, “Good Morning, Sunshine!”  Then he let out a little chuckle.  I did manage a grunt in acknowledgement, but I typically need two cups of java to become a person in the morning – grin.

When I hear that someone I know, or know of, has passed away it reminds me that life is uncertain.  We are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Yes, we make plans and have schedules, but the reality is we live our life day by day.  Shouldn’t we wake up every morning with the excitement, anticipation, and pure joy of a three year old?  After all, it is a new day, a chance to continue the good things that happened yesterday, or correct the unpleasant things of yesterday and have a better today. 

I challenge you to sit straight up in your bed tomorrow morning and in a high pitched, sing song, excited voice say, “It’s morning!”  I bet it’ll make you smile.  Just try it and see.

As I put a Valentine’s Day card in the mail to my grandchildren (who live one state up from us) I recalled that my neighbor in Virginia sends her grandson a card every week, and has since he was born.  They live four states away from each other.  I wondered how many people still send personal notes, just because.

In this day of modern technology, it’s no wonder the US Postal Service is going belly up.  Now, this is not a promo for the post office or any greeting card company, I’m just saying not many people actually send mail anymore.  I am guilty of this myself.  I send out a bunch of Christmas cards, but other than that It’s just easier (quicker & cheaper) to say Happy Birthday on Facebook, or even by sending an E-card.  I do check in with friends, but I do it via, Facebook, email, or phone text.  I touch base with family members the same way, with an added phone call or occasional video call.  Yup, I am definitely guilty of not sitting down and writing a personal note to people.

How often do you receive a personal, handwritten, note?  Probably not very often.  When you do, how does it make you feel?  I know if I receive personal mail – not bills or junk mail, but a letter from a friend or relative – I get a warm fuzzy feeling and smile.  Unless for some reason I get that panicked “what has happened?!” feeling – yeah, that’s not fun, but typically when I get a letter in the mail, I smile.

Is there someone you can think of that could use a smile?  Here’s a jumpstart possibility list…

Grandparents

Parents

Siblings

Aunts, Uncles, cousins

Grandchildren

Someone serving in the military – they LOVE to get mail

Classmates from “back in the day”

Neighbors you haven’t seen lately

Friends in other states

Someone from church who has been ill

Veterans

And the list could go on.

I know it seems to be a lost art, but go ahead – take pen in hand, put it to paper and make someone smile.

One down, eleven to go

How’s your January been?

Has it been good?  Have you been productive?  Are you happy? 

Maybe it hasn’t been so great and you’re not happy.  You know, (yes you DO know – it may not have occurred to you, but you know) that you have the option to change the things that aren’t working for you.  If January hasn’t been great, evaluate what you didn’t like and change it.  Sounds easy, right?  It might be.  It might not be, which is where an accountability partner can be beneficial.  That person could be your spouse, a parent, a friend, a pastor, a coach – anyone who you trust enough to say, “Hey such & such is really not working out for me, I think I’d like to try it this way (or try something completely different) would ya help me out with this?” 

It’s possible you’re not sure how your January has been.  Sounds silly doesn’t it?  I have a perfect example of this situation.  Yes, I’ll use me as an example.  I don’t mind bein’ a guinea pig – grin…

I’ve been pretty busy all month.  The house is pretty much settled, at this point, and I have been working hard on trying to build the business.  I have been very active, but not seeing any results yet, which can be a little disheartening – but I know I am laying the groundwork and it takes time.  However, we currently own two homes (we need to sell the one in Virginia – if anyone’s interested), which means we’re paying two mortgages and funds are a little tight.  I thought I should double check with the hubby to make sure that what I was doing was okay and on track, as far as he was concerned.  I asked him if he needed me to get a job and start contributing to the household income.  He said “No, you keep working the business.”  He’s such a great guy – grin.  See, I wasn’t sure about what direction I should take, since I was productive but not producing, so I asked my accountability partner to see if I was on track.

So, if you’re unsure how your January has been, phone a friend – well you know what I mean… check in with someone who knows you, your goals, and your dreams.  Ask them if they see you as being on target to reach those goals and dreams.  If they say yes, rest assured your January has been pretty good.  If they say no, well then it’s time to re-evaluate.

Have you set any goals for this year?  We can’t feel that sense of accomplishment if we haven’t set out to achieve anything.  How does that phrase go - if you fail to plan you plan to fail?  I think that’s it.  Now that’s not to say that people who are go with the flow live in the moment kind of people aren’t happy.  I know some that are very content to be that way.  I also know some that are quite stressed out because life happens to them and they feel like they are being kicked around by it.  I suppose it depends on your personality.  I’m just saying, do what works for you and if it isn’t working then try something different.  I’m sure you’ve all heard the “supposed” definition of insanity… doing the same thing, expecting different results.  Well, I have to admit that is NOT the true definition of insanity (as one of my friends pointed out recently) but it does make a good point.

If you have goals, dreams, a to-do-list, or whatever you have set up to keep yourself on track – did you accomplish what you set out to do in the month of January?  Hmmm.  If you answered “Yes” – why?  If you answered “No” – why not?  Taking time to look at what you did, or didn’t do can let you know if something needs to be changed.  If the month was spot on for you consider why so that you can repeat a great month.  If it was not quite what you thought it would be, consider why not and make the appropriate changes.  Is it possible you’ve got too much on your plate?  Is it possible you’re not doing the things that you could be to have a great month?  Are you staying healthy?  Getting enough sleep?  I don’t mean restless sleep (dozing) either, I mean someone lifts your arm and it drops like a wet noodle, slow heavy breathing, deep calm rejuvenating sleep.  As much as people say things like “sleep is over rated”, etc., it is a fact that human beings need sleep.  The answers to the whys/why-nots are different for each person.  I’m just trying to jump start the thought process to get you to look at your month.

If your January has been wonderful… YEA YOU!  I’m happy for you, keep up the good work. 

If your January has been less than you had hoped it would be, take heart.  You do not have to repeat the month.  We are in February now.  It’s a brand new month and you have a chance to make it your best month ever.  Walk the same road, or shake things up a bit and take a chance on being able to say you had a wonderful February?  It’s up to you, the choice is yours to make. 

You are not alone

Recently, I was on the internet when a post showed up on a support group page I am on.  The person was at their wit’s end and was asking for help.  Thankfully, there were a number of people on the internet at that time and they all started posting encouraging and supporting comments.  This person then posted their phone number.  The group continued to offer their support and encouragement.  One more post from the person, and then nothing.  The group continued posting and trying to draw the person out, trying to get a response, wanting to know the person was still there.  Various people put prayer requests out to their churches. Eventually, a couple folks posted they were in contact with the person via text, whew.  The founder posted she was talking with the person but couldn’t hang up - would someone please call for EMTs and do it quickly.

Did you know that 911 is not national?  911 is only useful in your own state.  If you are calling for assistance for someone in another state you must call their local police.  Just an FYI.

Still there were no postings from the person asking for help.  Calls were made and the page founder posted that help was on the way, please keep posting.  The group continued to offer up kind, supportive posts, until the page founder posted the person had been taken to the hospital.  I think a thankful sigh of relief was heard all over the country.

Later, the person who had asked for help posted their thanks to everyone involved.  They commented how they had felt so alone, but that the quick and spontaneous outpouring of love and support let them know they were not alone.

That is what I want people to come away from this blog with… you are not alone.  We are human beings, the human “race”, and as we race through our days we can forget that there are people around us who could use a friend.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives that we can feel alone, even in a crowd.

If you ever get to a point where you think you may hurt yourself, or someone else - Please ask for help.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it actually takes great courage.  Whether you call a friend, family member or neighbor, post it on a social media outlet, or call 911… whichever you choose, please choose to ask for help.  This is proof positive that there are people who care, even if they don’t know you, they care about you, and will do everything in their power to help.  You are not alone.

So thankful that the person who made the original post continues to keep the group updated on their progress, and that they are still here, in this world.